hey blog, been a minute.

The last six months have flown by. Wow. I mean I really can’t believe Jakson is almost two years old, and the fact that I am going to be a mom to a two-year-old is even more mind-boggling. The reason I haven’t been on lately is that I have been having way too much fun. These past few months have been busy, yes, but have also been the most fun and exciting and enjoyable. Jakson has grown so much. He gives hugs and kisses all the time, and has even started giving Chase (the baby we nanny) hugs and kisses when he sees him. It’s the CUTEST. I also didn’t write down Jakson’s grover phase from a few months back, which basically consisted of taking Grover everywhere and getting him dressed and carrying him like a baby and changing his diaper, etc… Jakson couldn’t put him down for a second. And luckily, I got TONS of photos of the two together. (:

What else has happened… Well, Jakson talks a little. He mostly copies things from movies like “no” “nah” “mom? dad?” “ahhhhhh *smacks hands on face like kevin mccalister*” and allllll the truck noises. Firetruck, ambulance, police car, monster truck, lightning McQueen, like every thing you can think of. And various other noises like cookie monster, “uh-oh” “aw man”, “mama”, “mom”, “MAAAAAMMMMM” (only moms will understand), and yum, the shiver noise when he is telling us something is cold, he says “ho ho ho” when he’s talking about Santa. There’s just so much that he can do now! We also like to do some dancing around here, which isn’t new news but jaksons dance moves are front page headlining news because DANG that boy can dance. I sing him a little “go Jakson, go Jakson, it’s your birthday” and he goes wild with his hands and his feet and stumbles around at high-speed until he inevitably falls on his butt and claps for himself. (Are toddlers not the cutest thing on this planet?)

Jakson doesn’t throw fits, infact he doesn’t really do any thing THAT bad, ever. He’s a perfect angel and I am not even trying to be the mom that pretends like her kids are perfect when actually it’s a disaster. I just love him so much. He’s my buddy, and we just hangout all day together and play cars and play outside and watch movies and clean the house and cook and watch the baby. It is so awesome. And bonus: he can ACTUALLY help now, instead of just me pretending like he is helping and then going behind his back and undoing / redoing everything he helped with. He actually knows how to wipe stuff down, and get me towels after I get out of the shower. (This is one of my fav things he does because not only is it convenient, it’s freakin adorable.) And he can mix his own chocolate milk. Okay, this would be easier if I did it but he loves it so much that I don’t mind cleaning up the mess. He also “helps” make Chase’s bottles, and its pretty messy too.. But again, he loves it so. Whaddaya do?

Jakson is basically a vacuum for food. He eats anything (that he likes) in insane amounts and will quite literally eat an entire thing of baby puffs in the time it takes him to watch cars 3. But, he also has phases where he won’t eat anything for days and I think he is going to be hospitalized. There’s no middle ground. He loves to read, especially corduroy and his counting and color books. Which reminds me, JAKSON IS A GENIUS. He knows all of his colors and can basically count. And, you can ask him what (almost) any letter sounds like and he will make the sound. Also this isn’t new but he can do his animal noises veryyyyy well. I am so proud of him! He is so theatrical when he plays and is always using an imagination. He uses his little kitchen and fake food to cook stuff up and will let me and grandma taste it. He hugs himself and makes kissy noises when grandma goes to bed and will run and jump into her arms and give her millions of hugs and kisses. I am only kind of jealous (‘: but he snuggles with me all night long so it’s no biggy.

Well, I always drift away from my blog and writing, and I always find myself right back here, so maybe that should tell me a little something about career options. I want to live just like I am now, maybe with my own house and a little more traveling, and the only way I know of to do that is with a blog so I should really just do it. I mean I’m already writing this crap so what do I got to lose? I’ll keep ya updated.

goodnight, sorry for the bipolar post. just wanted to document these things <333


people watching 

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESSAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESThe other day Jakson and I were standing in the return line at Walmart when I spotted a frantic woman among the crowd. I watched as she ran in and out of the bathroom, searched in the produce section, among the checkout lanes and even in the carts. I began to look for the missing child too– I had no way of knowing that was what she was looking for, but the look on her face was precisely what I imagined mine would look like if I ever lost my baby. After about five minutes of feeling my insides twist watching this poor mother search for her child she walked to the help desk and I imagined her asking to call for the missing child over the intercom. Instead the employee handed the woman a pink iPhone. Relief swept over her face in an instant and she praised the lord that her missing phone had been returned, unharmed.

Moral of the story. People are loco over technology.

Happy Tuesday y’all 😂

my dumb dog ran away


when you finally get your hands on the leash. (sneaky grin)

“give snuffy hugs and kisses”
So here’s a little back story on my dog. Ever since we moved into our apartment he’s started barking and acting crazy and dragging me (with Jaks strapped to my chest) every time he sees another dog. He lived in the middle of no where for the first year and a half of his life and was basically allowed to roam freely, so third-floor apartment living is a huge adjustment for him. Don’t know how to fix his attitude, should probably take him to dog school. Anyways.

So last night I had left the sliding glass door open to let some fresh air in and when we woke up this morning our entire apartment was filled with cigarette smoke from the patio below ours. Naturally, I began to open all the other windows and doors to get the smell out, completely forgetting that my dog is a psycho ass and as soon as he saw the door propped open for literally FOUR SECONDS, he booked it down the steps and howled for like an hour at every person he saw while I ran after him and he ran from me. Mind that this was literally right when I woke up and I hadn’t put his collar on him yet. (Insert slapping myself in the face emoji.)

Eventually I went upstairs and made Jaks breakfast, because I couldn’t find him and couldn’t hear him howling anymore. After breakfast we went out again and drove around for half an hour, but still no luck. So I called it quits and called all the local authorities (humane society, police department, local shelters, local vet offices, etc.) and ended up finding a post on a Lost Pet Facebook page.

We picked him up and the girl who found him told me that he was found in the field next to the Walmart across the street from our house, which means that he had to cross a very busy road to get to wherever the crap he thought he was going. (insert another slap myself in the face emoji.)

Moral of the story: Don’t open your front door when you have a crazy dog.

Also, Facebook is an important resource. Even if it is only used when you lose your dog. (or are searching for throwback thursday blackmail.)


It feels good to live

Milestones on top of milestones on top of milestones. Jakson went pee in his potty for the first time a couple days ago (yay!) and he also learned to climb steps (not so yay)! I think everytime I look away he’s grown so much. During these precious (and difficult) times I live for the moments I can hold on to through the temper tantrums and teething pains until the next one. This week has been pretty stressful, but Monday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time and I want to hold onto that memory for dear life. Jaks and I were home alone all day, and we spent our night out on the porch watching the sun go down. Something about being outside in the beautiful weather just puts everyone in a better mood, but what really got me was our Ben E. King pandora radio station. Am I the only one who gets so extremely happy listening to 50’s/ 60’s music? The rhythm speaks to my soul and instantly puts a smile on my face. So on top of dancing around to our favorite jams, we made brownies and Jaks got to decorate them with Reese’s Peices. The best nights are the ones free of electronics and distractions, where you are just free to be free. Am I right? Not to mention Jakson is in a 100% better mood when we aren’t watching tv or entertaining ourselves with electronics. When in doubt take your kid outside and leave the electronics in. It feels good to go a few hours without virtual reality. (Because that is what social media is. None of those girls on Instagram are real y’all.) It feels good to LIVE. Days like Monday are what I want to remember about motherhood.

Easter at the Zoo

Baby J’s second Easter was such a fun day. We went to the zoo, and this time he was actually old enough to look at the animals and be super interested in what was going on. Jaks LOVESSSS animals, so I knew he would love spending time at the zoo. His favorite exhibit was the birds! Then, a close second was the meerkat, followed by the giraffes and then goats maybe?. (I would have put the giraffes first, but he got scared when it licked his hand.)

The bird exhibit was basically just this wide open room with trees everywhere. They sold popsicle sticks dipped in honey and rolled in bird seed, so you could feed them. Jaks got to feed a couple of birds, and I’m pretty sure it was the best day of his life! He smiled from ear to ear the whole time!

The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is the absolute best Zoo I have ever been to. They had a waterfall for the elephants, and they have the largest giraffe exhibit in the United States. Despite the sick feeling I get in the pit of my stomach at the thought of animals being held against their wills to be photographed and stared at behind bars, this Zoo seemed more like a sanctuary and a truly good place to live. All the animals seemed happy and very well taken care of! They even give you tokens for each ticket you buy to donate to the animal foundation of your choice.  Going to the zoo on easter is definitely going to be a new tradition for us.

So a few sunburns, sore cheeks, dippn’ dots, a carousel ride and lots of animal watching later, Jaks was worn out and fell asleep as soon as we got to the car. I wish I would have gotten more pictures, and the ones I did get weren’t great quality. But I will hold this memory close to my heart as one of the best days.

After the zoo we ate pizza, then went to great grandma and grandpa’s house for gifts and more food. We were so busy that we didn’t even do the egg hunt that I had planned, so Jaks and I will do it tomorrow when we’re home alone!

Such a good day. ❤️

The POSITIVES of Being a Single Mom

Hey y’all!

It’s been a minute since I posted on the blog and it’s mostly because I just haven’t had the time or energy. Why didn’t anybody warn me how tiring being a parent is?? (Kidding. Everyone did.) but really. I didn’t take all of those warnings from my parents and friends and everyone else seriously. I never expected to wake up with a single goal: to shower today. And go to sleep unshowered and too tired to utilize my “free time” (the time after Jakson falls asleep) to accomplish my pathetic goal. It’s crazy y’all- it almost makes me wish DB (deadbeat, douche bag, dad of baby, etc) had stuck around and helped out instead of leaving me to explore parenting and adulthood all alone. ALMOST.

Despite the ridiculous situations I find myself in, like the one described above (which is a regular thing, btw.) there are some advantages to being a single mom.

For one, I can guarantee that Jakson will be kind and respectful when he grows up. I can raise him how I want and teach him values that I find important. Some things my ex and I just didn’t agree on, like same sex couples, for example. He thought it was a sin to be gay and that they were all bad people and a blah blah blah. I was SO shocked to hear him say this for the first time after knowing him for years, and wondered why we had never talked about it before. In my opinion, people’s sexual orientation does not define their character or sins any more than their race and gender do. Although Jakson will be able to make his own mind up about topics like this once he is old enough, I’d like for him to inherit my open mindedness. And since I’m his only parent I can raise him and teach him the way I think is best 🙂

Another disagreement we had was about how we would introduce him to sports and activities when he got older. I suggested we let him decide what he wanted to do, and sign him up for a variety of sports & activities so he can find what he’s interested in. This was not DB’s plan at all. He was very firm about the sport Jaks said was to play (which is the same sport he played and his dad before him played) and said that he WOULD push Jakson to do well in it. I can kind of understand wanting to pass on the legacy or whatever, but here’s where I had a problem: I have been to a sporting event with his family before. It was DB’s 10 year old cousin’s football game. The kid wasn’t athletic, and carried a little extra weight around with him. But instead of being encouraging and proud of him regardless, I sat in disbelief as their entire family spoke poorly of him and voiced their disappointment. The thought of the same thing happening to Jakson made my blood boil, and as you might have guessed, an argument was born.

I could keep going for days about all of the ridiculous fights we had about Jakson’s future and it’s crazy because they all happened within the 1-month stretch of time that he was actually around and made some efforts to be a dad. It was hard for me to compromise on some of the parenting techniques DB wanted to use, because by the time he came around Jakson was already 6 months old and I had done it on my own up until then. I was reluctant to let him come in and change everything that I had worked so hard for.

But the point is, it’s over now. The fighting and arguments were all for nothing because now, I am able to raise Jakson however I want. Though being a single mom is tough and at times trying, I wouldn’t have it the other way. I’m happy with my life and the people in it. And I am confident that my son will be a sweet, caring, non-judgmental human being. EMBRACE being a single mom and make the best of the special bond it creates between your child and you. 💕

To end this short post, here are five other ways I have found to appreciate being a single mom, instead of feeling envious of those happy families you see on social media (because let’s be honest, IT’S HARD sometimes.) :

  1. Jakson’s existence gives me the motivation I need to work hard and succeed on my own.
  2. I feel accomplished and proud to know that I alone raised such an amazing human
  3. I dont have to do laundry / cook / clean up after anyone but Jaks and I (score)
  4. I get to cuddle Jakson in bed with me every night! (double score)
  5. I love Jakson more than ANYONE in the world, and I know he feels the same way about me. Our bond is indescribable and exclusive to only us.

To single moms everywhere: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Remember the positives and pat yourselves on the back for being such strong and independent women. If you’d like, share what you are most thankful for being a single mom in the comments below! Happy Monday to you and yours!

xx Jordan