Me: *wakes up in the middle of the night, gets out of bed & gets ice cream*

Me: *cries at my mom tummy that could have been gone months ago if I didn’t have a complete lack of self-control and discipline*

I swear after being pregnant I have zero self control over what I eat. I overeat, eat crap food, and don’t tell myself “no” when I’ve already had ice cream today and I get a craving. It’s getting bad. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

I think I just got into the habit of constantly eating, and with nursing I pretty much did the same. But now Jaks only nurses twice a day and I’m starting to see some love-handles coming back.

On Sesame Street they always have cookie monster practicing self control by not eating all the cookies and that’s LITERALLY ME Y’ALL. WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

Monday I’ll start my 12 week workout… The one that I’ve started 6 other times in the last year, only to make it to week three and miss a day. (causing me to give up completely because OCD.)

The real problem is my diet. I need to have a meal plan or track my calories but honestly how do people even do that? How do you plan your meals? How do people have that much control over their lives? How do you know what an acceptable calorie intake is?

To anyone who can help me be the healthy fit mom: help.

thanks. bye.






give. the. kids. a. break.


So he has his days– he cries for no reason and refuses to sit on the toilet and occasionally stomps his feet and uses his devil-voice when things aren’t going his way (you know what I’m talking about, the one where you think for a second he might be possessed… that one). Maybe this is the definition of a bad kid to someone. I know that 2 years ago, I might have felt the same. But it’s just not true. People put too much criticism and judgement on kids (and their parents) based on how they act 5-10% of the time.

Since I used to be one of those people who saw a screaming kid at the store and thought “what a brat” I am going to elaborate on why this is TOTALLY bogus and why my perspective has completely changed. First of all, kids are learning. They don’t come out tha womb knowing all of their manners believe it or not, and I bet you you were once that screaming kid at the store until you learned otherwise. They literally don’t know how to control their emotions or how to react to them. Once kids start to understand things more, like what “no” means, it can be especially hard for them to react in an appropriate manner. Imagine how it makes you feel to be told no. You feel shut down, and maybe a little sad or frustrated, but you continue on with your life and get over it because you know better than to scream and cry and flail your arms. Give these kids a BREAK. They are learning how to be respectful, emotionally stable adults one tantrum at a time. (And if they aren’t respectful emotionally stable adults when they grow up, I am making a bold prediction that they were not given the opportunity to throw tantrums and were rather never told no, and therefore never learned.) I was one of those people judging you and your kids throwing fits in the store, and honestly probably still would be if I never had a child. What a joke it is to go into parenting thinking you won’t ever have the kid that throws a fit at the store! LOL It’s just not realistic y’all.

This post got sidetracked and was supposed to be about how GREAT J is despite his 10% of yucky behavior. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out and bang my head against the wall when J cries over every little thing and wants me to hold him all day, but then something magical happens. He gives me kisses and hugs in public, or he holds my hand in his sleep. He giggles until he toots or vise versa. I try to gently sneak my arm out from under his neck after he falls asleep and as soon as I move, he lays on my chest on hugs me tight so I am unable to leave. He lays in my lap and watches Shrek, without squirming for ten minutes straight. Even watching him learn new things, like where his belly-button is and where the ice cream is at make my day a little brighter. Little moments like this just make me so happy and thankful to be a mom to the most kind-hearted boy I’ve ever known.

Earlier I was talking to my mom about one of these little moments that make my heart stop and tears roll. She said:”That’s how you know you’re doing parenting right. When they know how kiss and hug and love.” And she’s right. Teaching my Little how to love is the most important thing he will learn in his life. Everyday I pray that I don’t mess up this parenting thing, as I’m sure a lot of parents do, but today was one of the first days in months that I felt confident in my parenting.

It feels good to live

Milestones on top of milestones on top of milestones. Jakson went pee in his potty for the first time a couple days ago (yay!) and he also learned to climb steps (not so yay)! I think everytime I look away he’s grown so much. During these precious (and difficult) times I live for the moments I can hold on to through the temper tantrums and teething pains until the next one. This week has been pretty stressful, but Monday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time and I want to hold onto that memory for dear life. Jaks and I were home alone all day, and we spent our night out on the porch watching the sun go down. Something about being outside in the beautiful weather just puts everyone in a better mood, but what really got me was our Ben E. King pandora radio station. Am I the only one who gets so extremely happy listening to 50’s/ 60’s music? The rhythm speaks to my soul and instantly puts a smile on my face. So on top of dancing around to our favorite jams, we made brownies and Jaks got to decorate them with Reese’s Peices. The best nights are the ones free of electronics and distractions, where you are just free to be free. Am I right? Not to mention Jakson is in a 100% better mood when we aren’t watching tv or entertaining ourselves with electronics. When in doubt take your kid outside and leave the electronics in. It feels good to go a few hours without virtual reality. (Because that is what social media is. None of those girls on Instagram are real y’all.) It feels good to LIVE. Days like Monday are what I want to remember about motherhood.