Today was rough. It’s hard to admit when I have the biggest blessing (Jaks), because I almost feel like I’m taking it for granted, but man. Today was so rough. From the very first one-eye-opened sleepy face this morning until the last call before bed, Jakson has been sooooo grumpy. I did what I always do when he gets fussy, I tried to see if his teeth were bothering him and gave him some tablets to ease the pain. I put on cartoons. I played with him in his toybox and I even carried him around and let him help me do the laundry and the dishes and all the other house chores that seem to never be finished- which by the way resulted in a numb arm and a worn out mama. But he wasn’t buying it. I would set him down, he’d cry. I would pick him up, he’d cry. Honestly by about noon I was so exhausted that I felt like I was going to lose my temper, which isn’t like me. I had all these negative thoughts running through my head like, “why is he being so bad?” and “what am I doing wrong?”… It’s hard to think rationally, or at all when you have a screaming baby. So I told him “no” about 500 times and tried to distract him unsuccessfully. It is so hard to figure out this parenting thing because if I yell, it makes me feel bad. It makes Jak feel bad. And the situation doesn’t improve. If I don’t yell he doesn’t listen and I feel like I’m just letting him get away with it and he’s going to turn into the kid at the grocery store who screams and throws fits. Where is the other option? He isn’t old enough to have conversations about what is right and wrong… I just don’t even know what I’m doing and need HELP. Please mamas. Give me your best strategies for dealing with pre-toddlers and keeping your cool and being a good mom and keeping them busy please please pleaseeeee.
On the other hand, a few good things did happen today. First of all Jakson and I dance like everyday and I waltz him around in my arms through the living room, and today he FINALLY started dancing on his own! He’s been doing his hands for a while but today he started bouncing and using his arms all together! It was so cute! Another good thing that happened is I finished season 2 of outlander and it was crazyyyyy wow. If you haven’t seen outlander I highly recommend, I am in love with James Fraser and he totally changed my opinion of red haired men. Now I just have to wait and wait and wait until season 3 comes out!
So at the end of the day, it was a learning experience and I’m pretty tired so this post wasn’t as meaningful or quality as I wanted it to be but hey, that’s life. I’m just another mama taking it day by day, trying to figure out the secret to parenthood. (If you have it, help a sister out please.)Goodnight y’all, falling asleep while writing th . . .
JK. But really. Tired.
Peacing out and taking a nap, like Corinne before a rose ceremony.
– XO, Jordan