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my dumb dog ran away

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when you finally get your hands on the leash. (sneaky grin)
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“give snuffy hugs and kisses”
So here’s a little back story on my dog. Ever since we moved into our apartment he’s started barking and acting crazy and dragging me (with Jaks strapped to my chest) every time he sees another dog. He lived in the middle of no where for the first year and a half of his life and was basically allowed to roam freely, so third-floor apartment living is a huge adjustment for him. Don’t know how to fix his attitude, should probably take him to dog school. Anyways.

So last night I had left the sliding glass door open to let some fresh air in and when we woke up this morning our entire apartment was filled with cigarette smoke from the patio below ours. Naturally, I began to open all the other windows and doors to get the smell out, completely forgetting that my dog is a psycho ass and as soon as he saw the door propped open for literally FOUR SECONDS, he booked it down the steps and howled for like an hour at every person he saw while I ran after him and he ran from me. Mind that this was literally right when I woke up and I hadn’t put his collar on him yet. (Insert slapping myself in the face emoji.)

Eventually I went upstairs and made Jaks breakfast, because I couldn’t find him and couldn’t hear him howling anymore. After breakfast we went out again and drove around for half an hour, but still no luck. So I called it quits and called all the local authorities (humane society, police department, local shelters, local vet offices, etc.) and ended up finding a post on a Lost Pet Facebook page.

We picked him up and the girl who found him told me that he was found in the field next to the Walmart across the street from our house, which means that he had to cross a very busy road to get to wherever the crap he thought he was going. (insert another slap myself in the face emoji.)

Moral of the story: Don’t open your front door when you have a crazy dog.

Also, Facebook is an important resource. Even if it is only used when you lose your dog. (or are searching for throwback thursday blackmail.)

 

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people watching 

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESSAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESThe other day Jakson and I were standing in the return line at Walmart when I spotted a frantic woman among the crowd. I watched as she ran in and out of the bathroom, searched in the produce section, among the checkout lanes and even in the carts. I began to look for the missing child too– I had no way of knowing that was what she was looking for, but the look on her face was precisely what I imagined mine would look like if I ever lost my baby. After about five minutes of feeling my insides twist watching this poor mother search for her child she walked to the help desk and I imagined her asking to call for the missing child over the intercom. Instead the employee handed the woman a pink iPhone. Relief swept over her face in an instant and she praised the lord that her missing phone had been returned, unharmed.

Moral of the story. People are loco over technology.

Happy Tuesday y’all 😂

sunburn, white & blue

Our Fourth was so fun and I wish I had gotten more photos but the ones I did get are worth more than GOLD so it’s okay.  We spent the day with lil J’s fav person in the world, grandma. Jaks didn’t go to the parade or see fireworks last year, so this year was his first time seeing any of it and I kid you not, the second he heard the drums from the first float in the parade, he was going NUTS. If you don’t believe me here’s a picture.

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He clapped, and said “oooooo!” and was bouncing like a maniac in his grandma’s arms… It was the cutest.

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His fav part was when the marching bands went by, but the elephants & camels were a close second. (who else can say they had people riding elephants and acting like pirates and kings and queens for their 4th of July parade?! Living next to renaissance fair is awesome.)Also, Jaks got maracas from a vendor and we ate the best BBQ ever.

Regardless of the profuse sweating, bright red skin and constant wedgie I acquired over the course of the day, I still got  compliments on my outfit (that was a total of $12. I’m serious.) And it was still a wonderful day. After the parade + street fair we were basically dying for ice cream, so we stopped at a cute little parlor north of our town.

 

We spent the evening cuddled up on our patio with a blanket, just Jaks and I, watching the fireworks from afar. He fell asleep laying on my chest looking like a literal angel. It was the perfect tribute to Jaks’s first parade & fireworks. We celebrated our freedom, our country, and our blessed lives by living to the fullest. I just love my simple life with my little boy in the greatest country there is. ❤️

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BBQ lips.

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give. the. kids. a. break.

 

So he has his days– he cries for no reason and refuses to sit on the toilet and occasionally stomps his feet and uses his devil-voice when things aren’t going his way (you know what I’m talking about, the one where you think for a second he might be possessed… that one). Maybe this is the definition of a bad kid to someone. I know that 2 years ago, I might have felt the same. But it’s just not true. People put too much criticism and judgement on kids (and their parents) based on how they act 5-10% of the time.

Since I used to be one of those people who saw a screaming kid at the store and thought “what a brat” I am going to elaborate on why this is TOTALLY bogus and why my perspective has completely changed. First of all, kids are learning. They don’t come out tha womb knowing all of their manners believe it or not, and I bet you you were once that screaming kid at the store until you learned otherwise. They literally don’t know how to control their emotions or how to react to them. Once kids start to understand things more, like what “no” means, it can be especially hard for them to react in an appropriate manner. Imagine how it makes you feel to be told no. You feel shut down, and maybe a little sad or frustrated, but you continue on with your life and get over it because you know better than to scream and cry and flail your arms. Give these kids a BREAK. They are learning how to be respectful, emotionally stable adults one tantrum at a time. (And if they aren’t respectful emotionally stable adults when they grow up, I am making a bold prediction that they were not given the opportunity to throw tantrums and were rather never told no, and therefore never learned.) I was one of those people judging you and your kids throwing fits in the store, and honestly probably still would be if I never had a child. What a joke it is to go into parenting thinking you won’t ever have the kid that throws a fit at the store! LOL It’s just not realistic y’all.

This post got sidetracked and was supposed to be about how GREAT J is despite his 10% of yucky behavior. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out and bang my head against the wall when J cries over every little thing and wants me to hold him all day, but then something magical happens. He gives me kisses and hugs in public, or he holds my hand in his sleep. He giggles until he toots or vise versa. I try to gently sneak my arm out from under his neck after he falls asleep and as soon as I move, he lays on my chest on hugs me tight so I am unable to leave. He lays in my lap and watches Shrek, without squirming for ten minutes straight. Even watching him learn new things, like where his belly-button is and where the ice cream is at make my day a little brighter. Little moments like this just make me so happy and thankful to be a mom to the most kind-hearted boy I’ve ever known.

Earlier I was talking to my mom about one of these little moments that make my heart stop and tears roll. She said:”That’s how you know you’re doing parenting right. When they know how kiss and hug and love.” And she’s right. Teaching my Little how to love is the most important thing he will learn in his life. Everyday I pray that I don’t mess up this parenting thing, as I’m sure a lot of parents do, but today was one of the first days in months that I felt confident in my parenting.

It feels good to live

Milestones on top of milestones on top of milestones. Jakson went pee in his potty for the first time a couple days ago (yay!) and he also learned to climb steps (not so yay)! I think everytime I look away he’s grown so much. During these precious (and difficult) times I live for the moments I can hold on to through the temper tantrums and teething pains until the next one. This week has been pretty stressful, but Monday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time and I want to hold onto that memory for dear life. Jaks and I were home alone all day, and we spent our night out on the porch watching the sun go down. Something about being outside in the beautiful weather just puts everyone in a better mood, but what really got me was our Ben E. King pandora radio station. Am I the only one who gets so extremely happy listening to 50’s/ 60’s music? The rhythm speaks to my soul and instantly puts a smile on my face. So on top of dancing around to our favorite jams, we made brownies and Jaks got to decorate them with Reese’s Peices. The best nights are the ones free of electronics and distractions, where you are just free to be free. Am I right? Not to mention Jakson is in a 100% better mood when we aren’t watching tv or entertaining ourselves with electronics. When in doubt take your kid outside and leave the electronics in. It feels good to go a few hours without virtual reality. (Because that is what social media is. None of those girls on Instagram are real y’all.) It feels good to LIVE. Days like Monday are what I want to remember about motherhood.

Easter at the Zoo

Baby J’s second Easter was such a fun day. We went to the zoo, and this time he was actually old enough to look at the animals and be super interested in what was going on. Jaks LOVESSSS animals, so I knew he would love spending time at the zoo. His favorite exhibit was the birds! Then, a close second was the meerkat, followed by the giraffes and then goats maybe?. (I would have put the giraffes first, but he got scared when it licked his hand.)

The bird exhibit was basically just this wide open room with trees everywhere. They sold popsicle sticks dipped in honey and rolled in bird seed, so you could feed them. Jaks got to feed a couple of birds, and I’m pretty sure it was the best day of his life! He smiled from ear to ear the whole time!

The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is the absolute best Zoo I have ever been to. They had a waterfall for the elephants, and they have the largest giraffe exhibit in the United States. Despite the sick feeling I get in the pit of my stomach at the thought of animals being held against their wills to be photographed and stared at behind bars, this Zoo seemed more like a sanctuary and a truly good place to live. All the animals seemed happy and very well taken care of! They even give you tokens for each ticket you buy to donate to the animal foundation of your choice.  Going to the zoo on easter is definitely going to be a new tradition for us.

So a few sunburns, sore cheeks, dippn’ dots, a carousel ride and lots of animal watching later, Jaks was worn out and fell asleep as soon as we got to the car. I wish I would have gotten more pictures, and the ones I did get weren’t great quality. But I will hold this memory close to my heart as one of the best days.

After the zoo we ate pizza, then went to great grandma and grandpa’s house for gifts and more food. We were so busy that we didn’t even do the egg hunt that I had planned, so Jaks and I will do it tomorrow when we’re home alone!

Such a good day. ❤️

The POSITIVES of Being a Single Mom

Hey y’all!

It’s been a minute since I posted on the blog and it’s mostly because I just haven’t had the time or energy. Why didn’t anybody warn me how tiring being a parent is?? (Kidding. Everyone did.) but really. I didn’t take all of those warnings from my parents and friends and everyone else seriously. I never expected to wake up with a single goal: to shower today. And go to sleep unshowered and too tired to utilize my “free time” (the time after Jakson falls asleep) to accomplish my pathetic goal. It’s crazy y’all- it almost makes me wish DB (deadbeat, douche bag, dad of baby, etc) had stuck around and helped out instead of leaving me to explore parenting and adulthood all alone. ALMOST.

Despite the ridiculous situations I find myself in, like the one described above (which is a regular thing, btw.) there are some advantages to being a single mom.

For one, I can guarantee that Jakson will be kind and respectful when he grows up. I can raise him how I want and teach him values that I find important. Some things my ex and I just didn’t agree on, like same sex couples, for example. He thought it was a sin to be gay and that they were all bad people and a blah blah blah. I was SO shocked to hear him say this for the first time after knowing him for years, and wondered why we had never talked about it before. In my opinion, people’s sexual orientation does not define their character or sins any more than their race and gender do. Although Jakson will be able to make his own mind up about topics like this once he is old enough, I’d like for him to inherit my open mindedness. And since I’m his only parent I can raise him and teach him the way I think is best 🙂

Another disagreement we had was about how we would introduce him to sports and activities when he got older. I suggested we let him decide what he wanted to do, and sign him up for a variety of sports & activities so he can find what he’s interested in. This was not DB’s plan at all. He was very firm about the sport Jaks said was to play (which is the same sport he played and his dad before him played) and said that he WOULD push Jakson to do well in it. I can kind of understand wanting to pass on the legacy or whatever, but here’s where I had a problem: I have been to a sporting event with his family before. It was DB’s 10 year old cousin’s football game. The kid wasn’t athletic, and carried a little extra weight around with him. But instead of being encouraging and proud of him regardless, I sat in disbelief as their entire family spoke poorly of him and voiced their disappointment. The thought of the same thing happening to Jakson made my blood boil, and as you might have guessed, an argument was born.

I could keep going for days about all of the ridiculous fights we had about Jakson’s future and it’s crazy because they all happened within the 1-month stretch of time that he was actually around and made some efforts to be a dad. It was hard for me to compromise on some of the parenting techniques DB wanted to use, because by the time he came around Jakson was already 6 months old and I had done it on my own up until then. I was reluctant to let him come in and change everything that I had worked so hard for.

But the point is, it’s over now. The fighting and arguments were all for nothing because now, I am able to raise Jakson however I want. Though being a single mom is tough and at times trying, I wouldn’t have it the other way. I’m happy with my life and the people in it. And I am confident that my son will be a sweet, caring, non-judgmental human being. EMBRACE being a single mom and make the best of the special bond it creates between your child and you. 💕

To end this short post, here are five other ways I have found to appreciate being a single mom, instead of feeling envious of those happy families you see on social media (because let’s be honest, IT’S HARD sometimes.) :

  1. Jakson’s existence gives me the motivation I need to work hard and succeed on my own.
  2. I feel accomplished and proud to know that I alone raised such an amazing human
  3. I dont have to do laundry / cook / clean up after anyone but Jaks and I (score)
  4. I get to cuddle Jakson in bed with me every night! (double score)
  5. I love Jakson more than ANYONE in the world, and I know he feels the same way about me. Our bond is indescribable and exclusive to only us.

To single moms everywhere: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Remember the positives and pat yourselves on the back for being such strong and independent women. If you’d like, share what you are most thankful for being a single mom in the comments below! Happy Monday to you and yours!

xx Jordan